Last Times

Last time I had stitches was a few years ago. I had an operation. I had stitches in my leg, belly, chest and head.

Last time I drank tequila, I slam my car. That night still is one gigantic blurry moment.

My last time was a week ago. My girlfriend was visiting.

Last time I was in a fight was 15 years ago.

Last time I got robbed, there was 6 shit heads in three motorcyclesThey took my Blackberry.

Last time I cut my hair was 5 months ago. Now it’s falling off.

Last time I had Taco Bell was a disaster, 4 bean burritos against me. The burritos won.

Last time I went to a wedding I took the wedding cake home. I mean the whole cake.

Last time I drove a Ferrari, I woke up in my bed. It was all a dream.

Last time I won something was one of the best days ever. I won a car. That was 8 years ago. Since that day, I haven’t won anything.

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